Not all complaints are eye rolls worthy.
According to a recent study shows, nagging done in a right way, can be an ice-breaker to some important unsaid discussions and even create a good impression.
Since our culture takes complaining as a bad habit, we from our childhood have learned to stay silent, even when there are are reasons to speak up. I believe that it is changing slowly. According to Robin Kowalski, professor of Psychology, at Clemson university in US, complaining can be used as a tool for bonding. This can help in processing our deep emotions like stress and frustration. Complaining in moderation can also be used as an ice breaker, to convey information about oneself so that others can form a particular impression of you. How ever what’s important here is to actually choose the right audience. It’s really important to find someone who you can confide in and who also supports your purpose.
Let’s talk few of the right ways of complaining.
1. Make your wallowing constructive When you share a story, you are actually making an intimate bond of friendship. This happens whenever you share an emotional truth about yourself that show where you are vulnerable. This makes the listener empathetic towards you which is a great bonding vehicle.
2. Know to wallow in a right manner Journalling about your thoughts that are upsetting you and speak about it to a friend. Take your time in choosing the person with deep care. While complaining try to understand yourself too.
3. It’s okay to vent yourself out casually at time While complaining is solution based and venting is not as focused on solution of the problem, but that does not mean that venting is bad. You should vent sometimes because it is cathartic. The positive part of venting is that it’s immediate. It actually allows you to unload and offload the emotional baggage which reduces your stress and unhappiness. But then it’s important that complaining gets solution oriented
4. Don’t just complain in a harsh manner, make it a positive expression Remember that voicing out too many expressive complaints may get you into a loop of negative thoughts. Modern life gives rise to a lot complaints but how many of it are really worth it?
When does effectively it can help you clearly understand what is actually bothering you. Since you are speaking out yourself loud or the person you are talking to shows you the perspective that you couldn’t see on your own as you are so wrapped up in your own feelings. The way you discloses your emotions.
JOURNAL ABOUT THINGS THAT ARE UPSETTING YOU OR SPEAK TO A CLOSE ONE, JUST BE HONEST WITH YOUR THOUGHTS AND WITH YOURSELF. TAKE YOUR TIME IN CHOOSING THE RIGHT PERSON YOU WANT TO OPEN UP TO AND WHO HAS A DEEP CARE FOR YOU. AND ALSO REMEMBER WHILE COMPLAINING TRY TO UNDERSTAND YOURSELF WHILE YOU ARE VOICING OUT YOUR THOUGHTS AND STAY TO THE POINT. SOMETIMES WHILE TELLING YOUR PROBLEM YOU END UP FIGURING OUT THE SOLUTIONS YOURSELF.
Anuja Pandey 